A Reader's Theater Script

Readers Run Wild

By Barrie Teague Alguire

Introduction

This Readers Theater program is intended to be a fast-paced mix of jokes and skits where actors play several different characters. It is reminiscent of the old television show, “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In.” The readers can use their own names. In each section, the parts are simply designated Reader 1 (R1), Reader 2 (R2), etc. You can assign parts so that everyone has a chance to participate, whether you have only four children or a group of twenty. Likewise, you can lengthen or shorten the program by dropping a section or adding other jokes and riddles. Separate the sections by having the readers change the arrangement in which they stand. You can also have a very brief musical interlude or some sort of sound effect, like a whistle or a gong. In fact, a mix of percussion instruments can underscore the humor.

Script

R1: Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of our Summer Reading Club Theme, “Go Wild…Read!” we have assembled for you a crazy group of characters who go wild when they get together. We have -

[Each reader announces his/her own name.]

R2: Put us all together and we are:

ALL: Readers Run Wild!!!!

Skit 1, Part 1

BOB: Good evening listeners. Welcome to the WABC Evening News. I am Bob O’Link, your news anchor. We go now to Lotta Gossip, our reporter in the field with some late breaking news. Take it away, Lotta.

LOTTA: Thank you, Bob. Ladies and gentlemen, I am Lotta Gossip, reporting some late breaking news. I am here in front of this house belonging to the Bear family. The house was burglarized early this morning while the Bears were out for a walk. The family is with me now. Perhaps we can get them to speak on camera. Mr. Bear?

PAPA BEAR: [in a deep voice] Yes?

LOTTA: Can you tell us what happened this morning?

PAPA BEAR: Well, the missus had just made us some of her delicious porridge.

MAMA BEAR: [interrupting] I do make a good porridge.

BABY BEAR: [interrupting] Too hot! Too hot!

MAMA BEAR: Well, yes. This morning it was a little too hot.

PAPA BEAR: So, we went out for a walk while it cooled.

LOTTA: And that’s when it happened?

PAPA BEAR: We came back and –

MAMA BEAR: [tearfully] Oh, it was just awful! Someone had eaten all the porridge!

LOTTA: All of it?

PAPA BEAR: Well, no. They had just tasted mine and the missus’.

BABY BEAR: Mine! All gone!

MAMA BEAR: [still upset] And the chairs –

LOTTA: The chairs?

MAMA BEAR: The chairs were rearranged. I could tell someone had been sitting in them. And Baby’s - Oh, dear!

BABY BEAR: Busted!

LOTTA: Baby’s chair was broken?

BABY BEAR: All to pieces.

PAPA BEAR: And then we went upstairs.

LOTTA: What did you find up there?

MAMA BEAR: The beds were all messed up. I keep a very clean house and I could tell that someone had definitely been lying on those beds.

LOTTA: Did you find anything?

PAPA BEAR: No, but we heard a noise coming from Baby’s room. When we got there, the bed was rumpled and the window was open.

MAMA BEAR: And I know I didn’t leave that window open.

LOTTA: Did you call the police?

PAPA BEAR: Yes, we did. The Crime Scene Investigators left just a little while ago. They said they found a long strand of yellow hair on Baby’s pillow. I think they found fingerprints on Baby’s spoon, too.

LOTTA: Fingerprints! It sounds like the work of a human.

MAMA BEAR: I know! I thought we were in a safe part of the woods, but now, I don’t know.

LOTTA: Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Is no place safe any more? This is Lotta Gossip with the latest news. Back to Bob O’Link in the studio.

Skit 1, Part 2

BOB: Thank you, Lotta. What a shocking story. But - this just in. Something is going on over at the Wall. We go there now to hear from Chip Munk, our man on the scene.

CHIP: Thank you, Bob. This is Chip Munk, your man on the scene - and a terrible scene it is. Young daredevil Humpty Dumpty had been sitting on this massive wall behind me for the past two weeks. He was trying to get in the Guinness Book of Records with the longest wall-sit but tonight, something went terribly wrong. I have Inspector “Eagle-Eye” Eagle here to give us the gruesome details. Inspector? What happened?

INSPECTOR: Hello, Chip. Well, we’re not sure exactly what happened. It may have been a big gust of wind or it may have been that yellow Corvette that drove by with some cute little chicks in it. Whatever the cause, he fell.

CHIP: He fell? Is he okay?

INSPECTOR: I’m afraid not. It was awful. He just splattered all over the place.

CHIP: Oh, dear. Did you call for help?

INSPECTOR: Of course. The king sent his men and his horses, and his paramedics. But there was nothing they could do.

CHIP: What a tragic ending for a valiant young egg. Thank you, Inspector. This is Chip Munk from WABC reporting. Now back to the studio.

[Change interlude. Readers shift positions, with or without musical accompaniment.]

Skit 2

R1: Hey, guys. What’s that I see coming out of the jungle? It looks like an elephant.

R2: It is an elephant! I think it’s charging!

R3: This is terrible. How do you stop a charging elephant?

R4: I guess you take away its credit cards.

[Everybody groans or otherwise reacts.]

R1: Say. What should you do with a blue elephant?

R4: Try to cheer it up?

[Sound effect – whistle, rimshot, etc.]

R2: Well, what should you do with a white elephant?

R3: Hold its nose until it turns blue –

R1: Oh, yeah, and then try to cheer it up.

[Sound effect – whistle, rimshot, etc.]

R2: Let me ask you this: What weighs 5000 pounds and wears glass slippers.

R4: I know. Cinder-elephant.

[Sound effect – whistle, rimshot, etc.]

R1: And where does Cinder-elephant sit?

R2 & R3: Anywhere she wants to!

[Sound effect – whistle, rimshot, etc.]

[Change interlude.]

Skit 3

R1: Quack! Quack! Quack!

R2: Hey, [name], where are you taking that duck?

R3: I’m taking him to see the duck doctor.

R2: The duck doctor? You mean, the vet?

R3: No, Dr. Jones down on the corner.

R2: Dr. Jones? He’s not a vet.

R3: Well, all I know is my mother said he was a quack.

R1: Quack! Quack! Quack!

[Change interlude.]

Skit 4

R1: You know, I heard a really fowl joke the other day.

R2: Really?

R1: Yeah. It was about a bunch of chickens.

[Lots of groans from the others.]

[Change interlude.]

Skit 5

R1: Oh, man. I’m having trouble with my homework.

R2: That’s too bad. Maybe I can help you with it. What are you studying?

R1: Well, I’m trying to learn about the months. You know, some have 30 days and some have 31. I always have to look at a calendar to figure it out.

R3: That’s easy. I know a little rhyme to help you remember. It goes like this:


Thirty days has September,


April, June, and November


All the rest have 31


Except February.


It has 28 (and in Leap Year, 29).

R4: Well, that’s okaaaay. But it’s boring.

R2: Yeah. Let’s jazz it up.

R3: You mean like “Thirty days has September, April, June”

R2: And no wonder

R4: All the rest eat peanut butter

R3: Except Grandma

R2: She drives a truck.

R1: Uh… thanks for the help, guys. I think I’ll just stick with my calendar.

[Change interlude.]

Skit 6

PROFESSOR: Good morning, class. I am Professor Stuft Shirt. I am here today to speak to you about m -

MONKEY: [interrupting] Monkeys

PROFESSOR: Monkeys. No! [gives R2 a dirty look] Not monkeys. I was trying to say mathematics. The study of -

MONKEY: Bananas.

PROFESSOR: Banan – No! Stop that! The study of numbers. Numbers are quite fascinating. Starting with –

MONKEY: Yellow

PROFESSOR: Yyy [starts to say yellow, but stops himself]. That does it! Why do you keep interrupting me. Get out! Get out right now!

KID: Hey, Professor. Why are you yelling at my pet monkey?

PROFESSOR: He keeps interrupting my lecture.

KID: Oh. Sorry. I guess he didn’t find it very a-peeling.

MONKEY: Chee chee cheee! [makes monkey noises]

[Change interlude.]

Conclusion

R1: I see by the old clock on the wall that our time is about up.

R2: We hope you’ve enjoyed our program.

R3: [playing the monkey] Did they like it? Did they like it? Would they like a banana? Chee chee chee!

R4: Not that monkey again. Get him out of here.

R1: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. This program was performed by amateurs in a library setting.

R2: And, kids, unlike many things you see on TV today, you CAN try this at home!

R3: We’re the one

R4: The only

R1: The amazing

ALL: READERS RUN WILD! Goodbye, everybody!

 



Texas Reading Club 2005 Programming Manual / Go Wild...Read!


Published by the Library Development Division of the Texas State Library and Archives Commission

Page last modified: June 14, 2011